TrueLoveWaits: Valentine's Day Blues

Are you over there pouting at your desk or place of employment because the flower man didn't deliver you any flowers? Listen ladies if you’re suffering from the V-Day blues I want you to take two dosage of “Love Yourself First” and call me in the morning. You have to Love you first if you desire someone else to truly (and faithfully) love you in return. And loving you is not rolling your eyes at your co-worker’s flower arrangement, or eating all their chocolates up out of spite. Loving you is doing something special for yourself, just as simple as taking extra time on yourself while getting dress this V-Day Morning (I know that may sound weird or lame but try it, spend a little extra time on you instead of dashing out the door every morning…Make time to take time on you). Or take yourself out and try something new on the menu and if you decide not to partake alone, invite some friends (Guy friends or Girlfriends or Both) to join you on this new food adventure. You want to be around people that you truly enjoy being around and the same goes for them. Stay away from individuals who tolerate you instead of loving you-You don’t deserve any phony play. 

 Now I know some of you are saying I tried ALL of that and then some- hugging myself, loving myself, dating myself, being by myself, I have literally mastered it. My response to you is KEEP IT SPICY!!! Just like any relationship you have to keep it fresh by throwing a little spice into the relationship so it won't turn bland on you. The same concept goes for you as well, keep the spiciness going in your relationship with YOU. So how can you keep it spicy? Do something pleasantly out of your comfort zone- wear that fiery RED lipstick you've been wanting to wear for the longest out, wear a bold color attire instead of your comfortable usual colors, try something NEW. For example if you’re invited to a social V-Day event please I beg of you DO NOT wear the usual V-day Colors. Find yourself wearing a becoming color that night that stands out and turn heads all at the same time. 

This is your V-Day world, SO OWN IT!! Do the lovable things that you desire to have on V-Day-send yourself some flowers or an Editable Arrangement (I so love those things), go out and socialize, hit the day spa (Oh how I love the spa), but DO NOT I repeat DO NOT find yourself creeping backwards to Mr. Joe Blow (better known as Mr. Counterfeit) who you know is no good and absolutely NO good for you ( There Shall be NO quickies Tonight...I have eyes all over the city…So Don’t do it). Continue to move forward and stay encourage, keep in mind that V-Day represents a day of love, but love should be represented (especially towards yourself) every day. So change your outlook on V-Day and tell depression and loneliness to be GONE!! I want you to find ways to get back to loving you FIRST.

:::::Happy Valentine’s Day from Me to You!! :::::: 

~MechelleRenee 

TrueLoveWaits: What’s Your Emotional Scent Smell Like?

THE HUNT IS ON!! And your Emotional Scent has led him right to you. As the pursuer, men have a phenomenal gifting in sniffing out the Emotional Scent of a woman- I call it the Inner Nose; it’s kind of like how we as women possess a strong sense of intuition that men seem to lack. Just think of a police dog that is working on a major drug case. Sheriff K-9’s nose has been trained to know the drug scent from a mile away. The same goes for men, whatever their Inner Noses are trained in sniffing for they can pick it up in our Emotional Scent. 

Some men have mastered their Inner Noses to pick up certain Emotional Scents that they are in specific hunt for, like the scent of desperation and loneliness just to name a few. All Men were born with an Inner Nose, and given the power to train their noses as they wish, if they’re looking for the lonely and desperate they have trained their noses to sniff out the Emotional Scent of the lonely and desperate (it’s just that simple). Ladies before physical words are exchange a man can tell if you’re confidant, lonely, desperate, and so forth-It’s your Emotional Scent that gives him the 411 (that or the clothes you’re wearing-which is another blog all in itself).

Your Emotional Scent (ES) is your personal PR Director- it will manage the flow of information between you and a potential. You may be attracted to the good guys, but your tampered Emotional Scent is still leaving crumbs behind for the abusers and womanizers to find. Only the healing of your soul will allow your Emotional Scent to leave the right crumb trail for the right man to come along. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, you will NEVER see a man who is on the hunt for a potential one night stand, step to a secure confidant woman with that foolishness. His primary goal is to have his Inner Nose converse with a PR Director (ES) who specializes in desperation, loneliness, and low self-esteem-keep in mind this emotional transaction is taking place without you or him physically exchanging words.

 Just like lingering perfume left dancing in the room, your Emotional Scent leaves a trail for particular men to follow and find you. Now ladies this can go in an up and up direction as well, especially for dating. Your Emotional Scent will use the data from your Health Emotional Report (HER) to send out to your potentials-it cannot and will not put on a front for you (your HER is NOT created to lie). With that said, say that you’re now in a great place in life and your emotional healing has taken its course to the point that you’re ready to date again. Your HER is firing out great signals and your Emotional Scent trail is now leaving out a different caliber of crumbs. And to top it all off, you did a little housecleaning by FIRING your PR Director who specialized in Loneliness/desperation and brought on a fantastic PR Director who’s purposed only in confidence, wholeness, and high self-esteem. Your walk has change and your confidant level has increased, because now your Emotional Scent has went from a Dollar Store brand perfume to Chanel #5- you definitely have it going on lady. But the most amazing part is that your new PR Director (ES) will use great wisdom and discretion when transacting business on your behalf. So What’s Your Emotional Scent Smell Like? 

~MechelleRenee

TrueLoveWaits: Wisdom is the New Sexy

Use wisdom this time around and not your emotions as you embark on your dating journey. No longer be steered by your feelings, or caught holding hands with desperation, while tongue kissing loneliness- You’re Dating WISDOM NOW and oh does it feel so good. Wisdom is the New Sexy is a recap on all the dating tools I've provided for you thus far, because I feel within my knower that some of you ladies (this Month) are going on some dates really soon (Get excited about that!!).

So a recap is well needed because I don’t want any of you to draw a blank and forget everything you've learned the moment he opens the door for you to the restaurant. Don’t get distracted by the butterflies or slight jitters you may experience (which are normal by the way) stay in tune with the flow of the date. I guarantee you that once the flow of the date begins to naturally flow, your butterfly-jitters will have gone out the window, and your date will be maximize to the fullest. It is a Biblical Principle that when you activate your faith by preparing for what you hope for, your activated faith will be the magnetic force to pull that which you hoped for to you-You're Now Prepared to Date. Below are Dating Principles to remember from  last month’s TLW Blog Posts: 

 Does Being Christian Make Him the One?

•   Take It SLOW- When Liking a guy don’t jump head first into Courting the Guy, make sure you go through the proper steps to get to know the guy (friendship, Dating, and then Courtship).
•  See If You’re Compatible- Just because he is Christian doesn't mean he is compatible for you; take the time to get to know YOU and your Purpose first, and see if it's compatible to his Purpose in life (or vice versa). Remember the example with the renowned singer who travels the world singing and the guy she is seeing desires a stay at home wife-his desires and her purpose clashes with one another.Take it slow your handsome circle piece is out there.

  Are You Prepared to Date?

•   First Prep Step- Make sure you're emotionally ready to date. Ask yourself this question "Am I totally free from my past?" Now answer it. Second Prep Step- Take a closer look at your calendar and pencil in the days and times you will have available for date nights or day dates. Also draw up a list of fun dating activities.
•  Third Prep Step- What to Wear? Make sure whatever you decide to wear on your date, make sure your dress code is in compliance with the FCSC Code- Fabulously Comfortable and still Sexy Conservative.  Fourth Prep Step- Got Soul Insurance? Always have your HB Plan with you, whether stored in your memory bank or written on an index card with you. It is imperative to identify and know your Hotspots while having your Boundaries set (Don’t leave home without your Soul Insurance). 

More than the Suit Alone.

•   Look beyond the Suit- Of course ladies this was one of my favorite blog posts to write. I enjoy a man in a tailored suit, but is he more than the suit alone? (Sure He looks good… but is that just it?)
•  Dating Principle- There is nothing wrong with being physically attracted to him, just don’t get caught up in fatal attraction, use the wisdom God gave you and seek out more than his good looks and charming ways.

   
 3 Keys to Identify Mr. Counterfeit

• Key #1:  Never Overlook the Signs- Don’t ignore the Red FLAGS.
•  Key #2: Put Your Listening Ears ON- Be Quiet and let him talk!!!
• Key #3: Prayer is Key- Get your divine facts before feelings.

Have FUN on your Date-Wisdom is the New Sexy.

~MechelleRenee 

TrueLoveWaits: Does Being Christian Make Him the One?

Absolutely Not…

Although he may have an amazing relationship with God-which is very important to have, it should not be the deal breaker for you to bypass the friendship and Dating stage and jump HEAD FIRST into Courtship- having a serious relationship with one another. Now before you Christian women jump down my throat and rebuke me, let me explain what I mean. Just because he is a Christian man doesn't mean he is compatible for you. 

For example God called you to the mission fields or to be a renowned recording artist who travels the world singing, and the gentleman that you’re seeing desires to have a stay at home wife, while he is the sole provider for the household. Now his desires are not wrong for wanting a stay at home wife, and there are many women out there who fit that desired category, however, he would not be compatible for you and your God-given purpose in life-you might want to reconsider and keep him in the friend zone.

When dating someone the most important thing you must know is YOURSELF. Knowing your purpose and what you desire out of life will determine who will graduate from the Just Dating Stage to the Courtship Stage. What if you meet someone who you could really see a future with and his purpose is called to serve his country or has a renowned Calling on his life- how would you handle that? My advice to you is take a step back and see if this would be the right relationship for you; there will have to be major sacrifices made on both ends (which I believe is an understatement). So before taking the relationship to the next level, ask yourself are you willing to take on the responsibilities that the relationship carry. 

Will his career be compatible to yours (will you see each other)? Are you willing to take on the responsibilities of being in a serious relationship with someone who carries such magnitude of a destiny? Will there be an even playing field of reciprocity given to both of your needs and desires for your relationship to thrive?  These are the questions you must ask yourself first before taking your relationship to the next level. If you desire your husband to be at home with you and not gone for long periods of time, than you might want to reconsider taking on the responsibilities of being an Army Wife and so forth. But on the other hand if you know within your knower that he is the one for you, and his calling in life will not detour you away from fulfilling your purpose, than I give you permission to take your relationship to the next level.  

But first things first, find out what your God-given purpose is so that you are able to see if you’re well-matched with one another. Your purpose in life will be the guiding compass to your compatible partner; don’t go where your compass has not sent you. I’m a writer and I enjoy being a writer, it is my God-given purpose to teach through my writings. With that said I would not get involve with someone who views my purposeful writings as a hobby-my compass is not sending me that way. You want someone to believe in and support your God-given purpose just as much as you do, and who will understand (if expressed to him clearly) that at certain times of the day you need your space in order to focus in on the duties of your purpose. If you’re a recording artist, you need him to be OK with your late night studio time, and traveling schedule. If you’re a writer (LIKE ME!!) he will definitely have to understand your alone time needed to focus in on your writing.

Your compatible mate has to be just that “Compatible”; keep in mind that the Compatible door swings both ways- he may be well-matched for you but you’re not well-matched for him (If this happens, come to turns with it ,and remain friends if possible-it’s OK move on). Don’t try to fit a square piece into a circle shaped-hole, it just won’t work! Some of you have men in your lives right now that are just not compatible to your dreams, vision, and goals-And you are aware of it. It’s time to make a change, no more pleading insanity with your relationships- doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results for your relationship, the cycle stops HERE! I challenge you today to rid your life from all the square pieces that won't fit, and find you a handsome circle piece that fits your life perfectly. Does Being Christian Make Him the One?  Absolutely Not…

~MechelleRenee 

TrueLoveWaits: Going on a Date?

He asked you out and you said yes, now what?

I know your excitement level is at an all-time high right now and I am very happy for you, but you being prepared for this date will determine which direction the date will go in. Here are some Date Nuggets that will help you before and while on your date.

• Get clear understanding as to where he is taking you: You need to be made aware of the attire for the date. I would hate for you to show up to the date wearing a beautiful salsa dress and your gorgeous dancing heels to match, and he’s taking you bowling. Make sure you have a clear understanding of where he is taking you, and if it’s a surprise, ask him how you should dress for the surprise. 

• What you wear solely depends upon you: A helpful tip: make sure what your wearing doesn't screen let’s skip dinner and go straight to dessert (too sexy-leave something to the imagination), and please don’t let your attire yell churchlike attire either (Sunday’s Best). You want to be fabulous, comfortable, with a hint of sexy.  

• Should he pick you up or meet him there: This would depend on the level of how comfortable you are with having him know where you live. Having Him come to pick you up has nothing to do with him coming into your home. Me personally I don’t have a problem with a gentleman coming to my door and picking me up. But you have to use wisdom as well, meet him there if you feel more comfortable doing that (make sure you communicate that to him).  

• What to bring with you: Have your plan in hand: make sure you have your Hotspot Boundary Plan (HB plan) and some of your questions you desire to know about him. Keep in mind that you’re on this date to get to know one another so set the standards and ask the right questions. Your HB plan is your boundary plan-what you stand for (morals) and how far you will allow the date to go (boundaries). Knowing your hotspots (triggers that turn you onto sex) will help you set boundaries from preventing you from slipping (keep the Cookie in the Cookie Jar).

•  Flow with the chemistry of the date: Don’t become a Drill Sargent with 99 questions. Still get your questions answered but do it with flair and a genuine smile.  Have yourself a glass of wine or drink of your choice but don’t overdo it on the alcohol beverages.  You want to make sure your senses are all there and fully working at all times. Because this date will determine if there will be another date and so forth, so keep your focus.  

•  Icebreakers: “so tell me something about you”- Ask about his family and their relationship, and make sure you’re prepared to answer the same questions. Ask about his goals in life (short &long term Goals). And the questions you’d prepared to ask that are important to you. Use your intuition, I called it your spider senses-if something doesn't feel right to you don’t ignore it, ask more questions and always have your mental notebook ready.

    More importantly be yourself and have fun!! If you fake it you will have to maintain the imposter that you've created, but if you be yourself than you are able to maintain YOURSELF, so be yourself. Enjoy your date.

    

     ~MechelleRenee

    

TrueLoveWaits: Have Your Glass of Wine

I Give you permission to BE YOU- have yourself a glass of wine, wear your 6inch heels, color your lips with a bold color lipstick, wear your hair the way you feel beautiful, do whatever makes you feel like the REAL YOU. I believe there is nothing more attractive and sexy to a man than being in the presence of a confident woman.  Your confident level increases when you allow yourself to be you. God did not create you to hide in a box or to be kept underneath a limited glass ceiling; you are fearfully and wonderfully made. So kick over that box,  take off your high heels and break the glass ceiling above you because you will no longer limit yourself to someone else’s shadow anymore. No longer will you conform to the mold of others opinions of who you should be, God blew His very breathe into your body and created only one YOU- it’s time to step into the REAL YOU. I know at first you might be nervous because of the uncomfortable change, but I can promise you that once you get a taste of the REAL YOU; there is no going back to glass ceilings and walking in shadows-those days are over.  

Have you ever had the urge to break loose on the dance floor and shake a little tail feather, but you never did because of the restrictions of your lack of confidence. Or what about that dress that compliments your curves oh so well and you left it at the store because of the “what would people say or think of me?” thoughts flooding your mind. They would probably say or think “WOW, she looks fabulous in that dress!!” But you would never know unless you've taken your dress home and served the designer’s purpose-having the dress seen on you. We've all had our share of lack of confidence in ourselves, so you’re not alone. How you feel about yourself will always set the standard of how you allow someone else to feel about you-Confidence is like a sweet smelling perfume, it is beautiful energy that you give off/some people called it your Aura, I called it your Attitude.

 Do you have an approachable attitude? Or is the weight of the world shown on your face? If so that’s your problem right there. What man in their right mind would approach you if your mean-mugging him- I wouldn't blame him for walking over to the woman with a beautiful smile and the approachable attitude. Ladies check your attitude, what is your facial expression saying- “Don’t even think about coming over here” or “I’m living life and you’re welcome to join me.”  I know that you’re an amazing woman with a beautiful heart, but how would he know that when your home in a woe it’s me  trance, hoping that one day Prince Charming would come in and rescue you from your dark tower of loneliness.

 Reality Check: Ladies this is not a romance novel and your man is not riding in on a white horse to save the damsel in distress, this is reality. Find out what interest you and DO IT-loosen up, let your hair down, and experience life. Now for me I truly enjoy experiencing new cultural foods, traveling to different places, having great company to experience it with, sipping on a glass of wine or an Apple Martini, and before the night is over you will definitely find me on the dance floor doing my choice of line dancing (the Cupid Shuffle and the wobble are my two favorite). But there is another side to my personality-I enjoy writing, Coffee House chats, live plays, jazz music and poetry, anything with a more laid-back atmosphere as well. Identify what fits all sides of your personality and then do it. I want you to look in the mirror daily and affirm your beauty, kick over boxes and break glass ceilings, work your heels across the dance floor and have your glass of wine- Step into the REAL YOU.

~MechelleRenee      

TrueLoveWaits: Getting Back To Loving You

Today I want you to get back to loving you, I want you to smile more and embrace the most beautiful part of you. All week long we are being pulled in so many directions, you would think you were a cloned individual. So today I challenge you to find time for you- take an uninterrupted therapeutic bath, have lunch with friends, go shopping, curl up with a good book, or make it a spa day!!! Whatever you choose to do on YOUR beautiful day is totally up to you, but do something. 

Tips to Getting Back to Loving You:

Create the Perfect Space- Find your perfect space to relax- a place where your thinking is unhindered. A place where you can exhale. Shut your door, turn on your music of preference, and allow your mind to travel to a place of euphoria. Create your perfect atmosphere at home or at the park, the choice is yours as long as the focal point is getting back to loving you. Rid yourself from all negativity and allow peace and joyous thoughts (or memories) to fill your mind. I find relaxing with a good book or being outside on a beautiful day tends to bring me joy. 

Treat Yourself- You deserve a gift from yourself every now and then so take yourself out to your favorite lunch spot or make your favorite lunch dish at home, buy yourself some beautiful flowers or a pair of shoes, buy that special book you've been meaning to read, or your favorite chocolate you've been craving all week. Listen don't allow the guilty bug to come in and condemn you!! You've done so much for so many just in this week alone, so go out and treat yourself to something worth putting a smile on your face because girlfriend you deserve it!!

Moderation- This is not a go big or go home type of day, I want you to stay within your budget and do whatever it takes to create and keep the peace within. DO NOT buy shoes that you can’t afford, and DO NOT allow people's negativity to rub off on you today. This is YOUR day and I know you need it. Moderation is key, when funds are low and you want to get out of the house Get Creative. 

Find ways to treat yourself without over doing it. Some Examples: Catch a matinee movie (which is half the price of a regular movie), make some sandwiches and have a picnic, reread your favorite book, buy something off of the clearance rack (the clearance section may surprise you), or journal your thoughts down today. Find ways to make and keep a smile on your face today. Some more Examples: Eat chocolate today in moderation of course, have you that delicious slice of cheese cake today (I think I might take myself up on this offer), and find your happy place today. I challenge you to Get back to loving you.

Today is your day!!! How will you spend it?  Share your story with me (post pics) Getting back to loving you.

~MechelleRenee 

TrueLoveWaits: 3 Keys to Identify Mr. Counterfeit

As women we have the ability to spot out a counterfeit designer bag from a mile away, so why can’t we spot a Counterfeit man right in front of us? I have put together for you a condense version of 3 ways you can spot Mr. Counterfeit. So take out your key-ring of dating and add these 3 important keys to it because you’re gonna need them to expose Mr. Counterfeit.

Key #1:  

Never Overlook the Signs- Don’t ignore the Red FLAGS. Dr. Maya Angelou once said “When a person shows you who they really are, believe them.” Don’t get so caught up in his good looks and his charming ways, take notice in how he treats other people besides you-people like the waiter, who he doesn't have to impress. See if he has a forever roaming eye, or an eye that he uses to uncomfortably undress you with.

Side Note: ladies, be on your best behavior as well and nothing less, there shall be no picturing him naked either. Never overlook the signs, now it’s time to put on your listening ears. 

Key #2:

Put Your Listening Ears ON- Be Quiet and let him talk!!! I say this because Mr. Counterfeit feeds off of what you tell him. For instants if you’re spilling your heart out (already) by telling him the qualities you want in a man, you just gave Mr. Counterfeit the perfect strategy to conform to your liking- but his cover up won’t last long.

Counterfeits can’t handle the real deal questions like where do you see yourself 5 years from now? Mr. Counterfeit’s goal is to keep you in the wooing stage. That place where you’re floating on a mesmerizing fairy dust cloud, and he is standing over you wearing nothing but a togas dropping grapes into your mouth. SNAP OUT OF IT and start asking real questions, you can start the conversation off by asking him questions like “Tell me something about yourself,” and listen to his response and his body language. 90% of his message to you is not coming out of his mouth, so don’t sleep walk through this- stay focus.

Side Note: Interrogate but don’t interrogate- ask your questions in a subtle but direct way. 
Those days of you handing your heart over to every
passing Joe Blows are OVER; you are much wiser now. You must protect the rights to your heart.  Ask your questions, stay sweet and stay focus.

Key #3:

Prayer is Key- Get your divine facts before feelings. I saved the best for last because we tend to overlook the importance of prayer. Pray and ask God for clear understanding and discernment. Basically, you want God to reveal to you the signs of a Counterfeit. Praying “is he the one Lord” and revealing to God how much you like him is irrelevant to what you should be saying in your prayer. You’re asking God to reveal to you the facts about Mr. Man and a strategy of removal if need be. So STOP presenting God with your emotions and get down to business with a strategy,  because your heart is a serious matter. Keep in mind that the Lord knows your heart and your desires, especially when it comes to finding the right mate for you.

Side Note: Talk to God first before talking to your girlfriends, you don’t need added opinions swarming through your mind while making an important decision concerning your heart. Ladies, you're now prepared to use your 3 keys to POOF BE GONE Mr. Counterfeit.   

~MechelleRenee

TrueLoveWaits: Ladies I know you want it too.

Ladies If you’re involve in premarital sex right now, I know you’re probably saying to yourself “I want it too, if not just as bad.” I’ve been there done that- to where I didn’t want a relationship, just sex (which I call SEXingship). But really if we are truly honest with ourselves we would prefer to have the privilege of having someone to love unconditionally and to love us back the same, rather than the familiar hit it and quit it routine. Are you not worth the wait? Let’s be honest ladies after the music stops and your body has calmed down from the sex fulfilled shakes, you can’t believe his record timing of watching him immediately put on his clothes and walking out the door. Experiencing this will leave you with a damper on your emotions that will eventually make you feel unwanted, disconnected, and even disappointed .

At first you may express that you’re okay with just sex (because a woman has needs too), but something deeper within happens- a piece of you is given to your sex partner-your soul is tied to theirs. You may have trained your mind and your emotions to disconnect emotionally, but the same process happens when you have sex with another and another. Your soul is tied up into so many knots that you begin to lose the true essence of who you really are. Let me prove it, Have you ever had sex with someone only to find yourself later on taking on some of the characteristics of your partner? This takes place when your soul is tied to that individual. Let’s say that your lips have never touched nicotine and your sex partner is a smoker, sooner than later you will find yourself taking a puff of their cigarette ( you may not become a chain smoker, but an after-Sex-Smoker occasionally…You’re still doing something that you wouldn't normally do on your own).

Taking on small habits is just the skim of the surface. A deeper level of soul tying would be you taking on your sex partner’s emotional scares. For example You may have never suffered from depression, but your partner is secretly depressed, you are now a carrier of depression and it is only a matter of time before symptoms of depression begin to manifest itself in your life. That is why it is so important to wait ladies-because you’re worth the wait and the beauty to staying committed to God first will keep you on the path to finding your husband later. Ladies I know you want it too!! But hold on and Stay Strong!! We are in this thing together!!! 

~MechelleRenee          

TrueLoveWaits: Work it OUT!!

Are you sexually frustrated? Hit the gym and work it out!!! I’m serious this will help with the built up frustration. While in the process of saving yourself, I will NOT overlook the fact that the thought of sex will cross your mind…I’m the writer and it crosses my mind. But what you have to do is find positive alternatives to releasing your sexual frustration. For me working out and reading (not a romance Novel- a watered down porno) but inspirational reading helps me to take my mind off of the physical wants and focus my attention to what is really important-my Spiritual Needs. Do whatever it takes (God-approved of course) to release your sexual tension. You have to know your body and what works for you. God created us to be fruitful and multiply (See Genesis 1:28), but only with our husbands and our wives. Self-Control and a whole lot of prayer will be your tactic to alienate the Premarital Sex demon.

So strap up and prepare for war because after you've made the decision to wait for your mate, Sex will try its best to lure you in with pleasurable temptation. My advice to you is to run like hell just like Joseph did when he escaped Potiphar’s lustful driven wife (Genesis 39). In some situations your window of escape may only give you seconds to respond, or you WILL immediately give into your Sex Phase-a place of no return. Your decision making is very crucial during this time, what you choose will determine what your outcome will be. You either choose to NOT entertain your sex-emotions and stay committed to your covenant with God, or you can continue to remain comfortable with allowing your Sex craves to control you-The Choice is YOURS.  

Work it Out my friend!!! Take my advice and hit the gym, take a cold shower, pray allot and read God’s word even more… Do whatever positive thing you have to do to escape. Because whenever you find yourself backed up into a corner by the Premarital Sex demon, come out swinging for your dear life and then RUNNNN!!!  FOREST!!! RUNNNN!!!

~MechelleRenee 

TrueLoveWaits: Is Abstinence For Real?

Really? You can’t be serious…Holding out for how long?

Is what I hear all the time when I reveal to people the purpose of my covenant promise to sustain from premarital sex. It amazes me how so many people focus more so on the length of time of refraining from having sex, rather than the beauty of loving you. Sex is not everything; just like money cannot buy you love. I’ll take having wholeness any day over a 30 second climax. Yes abstinence is for real and there are plenty of us out there who chooses to wait for our mates. But my primary goal is to help you realize how valuable you are men- women alike-You are worth the wait.  

Engaging in a night of sex is just as sacred as you placing your heart into the hands of someone you love. I could go into details on how it’s imperative to know the ends and outs of your partner’s physical health, knowing their status (seeing their HIV results on paper), and so forth. But the most important part is getting back to loving you.  It is possible to date someone and remain abstinence; I see it all the time. The issue is many have fallen by the wayside because of the lack of proper planning- knowing your hotspots and setting your boundaries (Your HB Plan).Your HB Plan is a prerequisite before entering into the dating world. 

If you don’t have a moral plan of your own, you become the definition of someone else’s moral plan.Your HB Moral Plan should consist of what you stand for and the protection of what you may fall for, it’s what I call your Soul Insurance. To begin your plan you want to first start by identifying and writing down your moral values-values which you stand for and are not up for discussion. You may write down that having a relationship with God is a moral value that you possess, or being a person of integrity and honesty. 

Secondly, you want to identify your hotspots. Hotspots are the triggered sex-emotions that send you to the point of no return- which I call the Sex Phase. It is imperative that you are honest with yourself in revealing the truth about your hotspots, especially for the reason to withstand from falling into having premarital sex. So be honest with yourself as you unfold your hidden hotspots. Ask yourself “What turns me on to the point of no return? For me if your softly kissing on my neck for a long period of time and the mood is right I better run fast or I will have reached my Sex Phase, and will be falling that night. Do you see how real and clear I was with one of my hotspots? That’s how I need you to be. 

Thirdly, set into motion a boundary plan. If you can’t trust yourself with being alone with yourself in the dark, without refraining from sexual acts than you need NOT to go over to your partner’s house late at night; you can watch the movie during the day time, or in a group. Do what you have to do in order to preserve your moral values and your HB Plan. If you communicate to your partner your HB Moral Plan (what you speak) and your actions give off a different message, than you are confusing your mate. You have to make sure that your words and actions align circumspectly with your HB Moral Plan, or you will fall victim to conforming to the definition of someone else’s moral standards. So to answer your question, YES Abstinence is For Real.

~MechelleRenee